Girls Support Girls

There's been a lot recently about 'girls supporting girls' in business. There's a facebook page; 'Like Minded Bitches Drinking Wine', (which is actually very professional despite its moniker) that offers women in business a place to share ideas, ask questions and where you can even find deals on services for fellow members - and it boasts almost 100k members. Yep, 100K. There's at least five or six posts a day in my Insta feed with women shouting out other women in their industry and appealing to their followers to head over and give them a like and a follow too. There's a whole hashtag with close to 2 million posts for 'collab' - the preferred shorthand of those seeking to mutually support one another though advantageous business partnerships.

And what's weird, what's actually really great, is that often these #collabs happen between fellow butchers, bakers and candlestick makers. People in the same industry with relevant knowledge sharing that with those who come behind them. Often too, it's women working this way -not exclusively of course - but business women are definitely leading the movement and mostly it's women supporting other women in their own field. Mentoring them, encouraging them, sharing the love and storying it for their Instagram followers. After decades of societal messages suggesting females exist purely as rivals to one another, it's a bloody welcome change.

But, this female focussed and friendly way of doing business is not the case across the board.

Which is fine. Of course, it's up to each of us how we live our lives and how we conduct ourselves and thus, how we do business. No one should feel like they have to follow back the new 'same field as them' company that's fan-followed them, or offer the advice they've been approached for. If competition is your bag and that's what drives you to do better, then that's cool too. I mean, essentially, that's what business has always been. There's nothing inherently wrong with that. Not everyone wants to be friends and virtually pat their competitors on the back - even if that would make the world a nicer place.

What I have issue with though, are those who play the #collab card and claim to support those coming behind them whilst in reality they do no such thing.

As I say, I'm OK with people not operating in line with the whole movement. But I have a hard time with them then wearing the t-shirt. Surely, you don't get to be in the 'Girls support girls' club unless you're willing to er, support other girls and then welcome them into it too? There is strength, after all, in numbers. And not just bottom line ones.

I won't name names, but even in my own limited experience on Insta and as a business owner, there have been companies and influencers who have dealt with me in ways that vastly differs from the way that they present they deal with their 'competition' to those that follow them. Those that support them, trust them and buy from them. And that just doesn't seem on.

One company I reached out to for advice on how to approach a specific group of bloggers who we both were looking to use were not only cagey in their response, but I suspect lied to me entirely since their claim was that those they worked with had always and without exception approached them... and yet, I'd seen them in catalogues and on influencer grids where I know for a fact the norm is that you to pay to get (placed) there.

Another Aussie swimwear company, headed by a woman who I'd often seen encouraging others to take the leap into business and who presented herself as a role model of success and mentor in the various articles I'd read about her, took the route of blocking me from their Instagram followers... despite the fact I'd never made any (let alone any that could be perceived as negative) comments on their stuff and done nothing except click like on occasion when I thought they'd made something cool. Probably, I suspect, so that I couldn't like anything they posted going forward and thus be seen by their (swimwear interested) followers.

And it isn't just larger companies or bloggers who want to be seen a certain way (helpfully mentoring their peers/supportive of small business/pioneers of discovering great new small brands) whilst remaining fiercely competitive and entirely removed from having any actual use or impact at all on those they claim to champion. Sometimes it's other little mum companies just like me that do it...

One reached out to me to work together in a very friendly manner in the visible comments on my grid - but turned out that only if I bought something from them, albeit at a (small) discount, were they actually interested in any sort of #collab, in private conversation. And they were pretty darn rude when I politely declined that.

Another wanted to share my products and promote them because they were super cool and they loved new and upcoming brands. All I had to do was send them a shit load of free stuff all the way to the states - and they didn't want to have to pay postage either because it was 'expensive to post from Australia to the US'. Not the conversation they posted to their followers they were having with any of the small brands they just loved to buy from.

I have found though, some of those are exactly who they purport to be. Some do want simply to help you out. To help you as a fellow girl and a fellow small business and a fellow mum going it alone. Because despite @motherpukka's fecking sterling efforts to get big workplaces to accept the value of flexible working there's not been so much change yet and so there are thousands of us mums out here on our own now working this whole job/parenting balance out ourselves by going it alone...and they get it.

There are those who have faith in you and help you to have faith in yourself. Who you see sharing the love and who inspire you to do the same. They like your posts. They tell their friends about you. They share your stories about sales or giveaways. They click the little heart.

The likes of Emma @littlehotdogwatson, not only running an inspiring hat business with two small kids in tow, but giving up her time every fortnight to do 'Business Lives'. Video sessions where she shares all aspects of business how to's with her followers looking to start up themselves and introduces potential peers to peers with the aim of building support networks. Or Leah @norahsbrownies and the many talented bakers at @meranguegirls who should, by rights, be competitors - complimenting and championing another's baking and workshopping together to create spectacular sweets.

And luckily, not only are there more of these gems out there, they have the biggest impact on me. The biggest impact on who I want to be and on how I want to be.

Their generosity reminds me how I want to conduct myself going forward (you know, when Mermaids and Astronauts is fucking enormous and I'm smashing out the goals that right now seem more delusional than ageing backwards for a bit). Their generosity makes me want to keep going.

So shout out to them. The girls really supporting the girls. And shame on you to the girls saying you do but being as much use or inspiration as a chocolate fireguard when it actually comes down to it...

#Australia #choices #Business #SelfHelp #Support #GirlsSupportGirls