Do I (Day)care?

I find the term stay-at-home mum pretty misleading. If I stay at home, no 'mumming' gets done. I'm too busy cleaning up, preparing food, yelling, and tripping over the dog. So, we go out. A lot. Even though it's an absolute ball ache to get both kids, pram, mac pac, snacks, bike, helmet and all their other shit, organised. The days I think, 'we'll just hang out here' are always a nightmare. The house gets trashed, the kids get bored, and I can never find where I've hidden the iPad and the TV remote - so I don't cave in and stick them in front of screens - at the end of the day.

It's not a bit like I thought it would be pre-kids. When I imagined, as a teacher who was pretty good at creating fun and engaging activities (some of which even involved scissors), mine and my kid's days would be filled with sensory play and art and home made play-doh.

On the rare occasion I've done something like a rice bubble trough or a jelly tray filled with toys, the one most interested in it was the dog. And he didn't want to play, just consume the goods, plastic dinosaurs included, so I tend not to bother with that kind of thing.

Painting lasts about five minutes, which doesn't seem worth it given I'm still wiping said paint from surfaces I swear no child was near five days later.

And I'll be honest, the closest I've gotten to home made play doh is buying the cream of tartar once when I was planning on being a better mum. No doubt it'll get subbed into a recipe at some point when I've run out of baking soda or something because I'm pretty sure it'll never be used for it's intended purpose. (Which actually, was probably not making play doh - what the fuck is it really for?)

Given I've fallen so short of the whole creative mumming business, I've been sending Abe to Daycare every Friday since he was about 18 months old. There, he gets to craft, get dirty and hang out with others who are as interested in playing in the mud kitchen as he is.

While Daycare over here isn't cheap - the average is about $100 a day - since I don't send him full time, I get 50% back all year so, while the husband was gainfully employed it was well worth the money.

Now however, even though we get a further discount because Sean's a student, I'm wondering if that's still the case. When you've got no spare cash, the idea of even a little bit of extra each fortnight to spend on coffee shop coffee, wine from bottles and maybe, just maybe, the odd ASOS top is pretty appealing.

I've continued with it for the last 10 months since Sean's been at Uni though, because it doesn't seem fair to pull Abe out just because I want a better caffeine hit. But, recently, I'm finding other reasons to re-think whether Daycare Fridays remain as such.

Firstly, while the idea originally was a day to get work stuff done and keep me sane(er) to be a better parent, Bette, close to walking and intent on seeing just how many non-food items she can consume in an average day, ensures they're anything but that.

Secondly, I've picked him up on a few occasions and he's been watching Moana. A Friday arvo treat perhaps, but one I can let him indulge in at home for significantly less cost.

Thirdly, he's coming home too clean. The craft and the paint and the sensory play I sent him for seems to have dropped off since his favourite teacher left. Which leads into my final point...

He doesn't like it anymore. At least, not as much as he did.

It seems that, age three, Abe's finally outgrown his Daycare. Friends have moved on, teachers have left and he's just not as happy there as he once was. He repeatedly asks to stay home with me and Bette and since he's probably going to C&K five days a fortnight next year, I'm wondering if I should just let him before that, and then school, means hardly seeing him during the days. (I'll be honest that sounds rather appealing right now as a try and type and he's having a meltdown about a zebra that won't sit up, but I hear is kinda sad too).

I'm wondering if I should re-work Daycare Fridays into Messy Play Fridays. If I should lift my game and get out the food dye and the shaving foam and the 5kg bags of rice once again and get more involved in the mess myself. If I should spend one day a week not out and about, or in and trying to fight the chaos, but in and being more fun.

Because I miss my career as a teacher sometimes...the planning activities and making stuff and doing games parts anyway.

And I miss having conversations stimulated by activity rather than misdemeanour.

And if I'm not careful, maybe I'll miss getting to be the kind of mum I wanted to be altogether. That when I'm ready to let the house go to shit and accept as a consequence of fun stuff all surfaces will be covered in glitter, they'll be too busy doing fun stuff with their friends and not interested in me at all.

And I really could use more coffee shop coffee...

#daycare #child #choices #money