A Rose By Any Other Name...

OK. So Juliette is right. A rose by any other name would smell as sweet. And people are certainly more then the labels we give them or those they apply to themselves. But, and maybe it’s the English teacher in me here, I really believe that when it comes to a person’s name, it can do so much more than just identify them.

What a name meant and where it came from was a huge part in the process of choosing both my kids names. They ended up Abel Otis and Bette Zephyr if you’re wondering.

It took my husband and I a while to choose the name Abel. First of all, I wanted a name that I hadn’t taught a kid with - not easy after 10 years as a teacher. Plus, there’s very little Sean and I agree on, and names were no exception. The names I liked – Buddy, Kip, Sonny – were vetoed for being dog names. (Ironic, as the dog ended up called Memphis because my first choices of Colin, Keith and Steven, were vetoed for not being dog names).

We came across Abel one night watching the TV classic ‘Sons of Anarchy’.

“What about Abel?” Sean said, and it stuck.

Abel of course, is from the bible story of Cain and Abel. Possibly a weird choice you’re thinking, given the fact that story is memorable for a rather unhappy ending for my son’s namesake. But for me, the tale offers so much more of a view of human life than the brutality of it. Abel wasn’t just a naïve brother and the tale’s victim. He was also a role model and a success.

The name comes from Hebrew and is associated with meadows and brooks or streams. A good earthy, natural name appealed to me, so that worked. I also liked the second form of Abel, ‘Habel’, that meant vanity. I am a firm believer, that life is complicated and complex and that the good goes hand in hand with the bad and necessarily so. As far as negative qualities go I’ve got little problem with vanity. Perhaps because it’s also about awareness and pride.

In fact, the only problem I did have with Abel, was that when I Googled what it meant I was somewhat disappointed to discover it meant simply, ‘life breath’.

‘It doesn’t really mean anything’ I remember thinking. ‘It’s just air!’ Nonetheless it seemed to fit somehow and we moved on to arguing about middle names…

The thing is, that Abe had to be resuscitated when he was born. His dramatic entry into the world wasn’t quite the experience the midwives had gone through with me at the antenatal appointments and yet while it was pretty traumatic to watch (particularly for Sean who didn’t have the benefits of Morphine and gas and air to dim down the chaos) it all played out as it was supposed to and there was never any doubt in my mind he was safe. His name, it’s meaning, finally making sense to me in those moments. In Abe’s case, his moniker was almost like a talisman from the moment he came into the world.

His middle name, Otis means wealth. Whether it’ll mean he can buy me expensive handbags when he’s a millionaire remains to be seen, but already he is rich in the more important things in life like love and health.

And since Abe’s name seemed so right for him and he’ll carry it and its meanings with him though life, I took a fair bit of time to work out Bette’s too. Playing with names until one just seemed right.

Because while it isn’t hand, nor foot, nor face nor any other part…it seems to me that what’s in a name might just be more than we think.

What did you call your little ones and why? I’d love to hear from you!

#Names #Shakespeare #Parenthood #Family